5 Things We Do Not Want To See In The Han Solo Film

I make no secret of the fact that I was initially opposed to the idea of a prequel Han Solo film. I think it was unnecessary to re-cast an iconic part which I honestly can’t see anyone other than General Ford playing.

(The truth is I’m still waiting for them to announce an Obi-Wan standalone film, the conditions being perfect with Ewan Mcgregor now at the actual age between his Clone Wars avatar and Sir Alec Guiness’ hermit stage Ben Kenobi. But more on that later!)

I will keep an open mind though, and even though I still can't pronounce the boy’s name: Alden Ehrenreich, he might just turn out to be a perfectly young nerf-herder. However, while the internet pipes up with how they would like to see Han and Chewie do the Kessel run, as well as the origin of Han’s long standing debt to Jabba, there are a few things I would definitely NOT like to see in the 2018 release.

 

1.      An explanation of the Han Shoots First fiasco

Since the dawn of time (or the 97 Remastered edition) when George Lucas re-made history by making Greedo shoot first and miss, before Han dispatches him; millions of nerds have been up-in-arms about the rescinding of Han’s badassness. I feel like now that Kathleen Kennedy is in charge we might have an homage to the scene or something that gives fans justice for the original, but really, I could do without it. The less time spent on it the better.

 

The only thing worse than Emo Kylo Ren.

The only thing worse than Emo Kylo Ren.

2.      Future event referencing

Nothing would annoy me more than a few self-aware lines that acknowledge the future events of the saga. I can do without the following Han quips:

“Kids? I ain’t never going to have them!”

“Jedi? Hah, the day I meet a Jedi is the day I give up the Falcon!”

“Lando! He’d never screw me over!”

“A dark abyss on a planet that’s actually a weapon? I’m never going to fall into one of those!”

Yeah perhaps the last one’s a stretch, but you know what I mean. It works great in Back To The Future, but back to the future please. It’s 2017.

 

3.      Any crossovers to the Rogue One storyline.

I think the Galaxy is far far away enough for smugglers like Han to not cross paths with any of the characters from the Rebel Alliance or the Empire. I would really love to see anything from the Star Wars universe that doesn’t have Empire or Republic plot-based implications. Also, Han establishes in A New Hope that he’s literally in the hero business for the money, and his first change of heart should happen when he meets Luke and Leia. I’m quite fine with him being the no-good pirate smuggler he is prior to episode IV.

 

Here's an image to haunt you forever in your dreams.

Here's an image to haunt you forever in your dreams.

4.      Chewie’s family.

Enough time has been spent on Kashyyyk and while I love the planet, we’ve seen it before in Revenge of the Sith and not to mention (legally by Lucasfilm) the debacle that was the Star Wars Holiday Special. Chewie has been a full grown wookie in ROTS and seemingly doesn’t age as we saw in The Force Awakens; I think we can see their friendship blossom on some other corner of the galaxy.

 

5.     ...and this guy.

Or maybe I secretly do? Meesa no-know!


Captain's Log: Tejas is a writer and core member at Geek Fruit, and can only die peacefully if Ewan McGregor does another stint as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Find him on twitter as @tejasmenon